zurza » jessica simpson

Jessica Simpson: ‘My Breasts Get Me Out of Parking Tickets’

zurza — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 14:48:25 +0000

“So I said, ‘If I can’t fart in here, why are my boobs so big?’ We signed the deal that night.” Jessica Simpson appears in People’s World’s Most Beautiful Issue where she discusses having huge breasts since the sixth grade which I’m going to read as her dad took her swimming a lot: “There’s no way to Read More ...

Jessica Simpson says stuff, too

zurza — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 18:55:00 +0000

Seen here over the years/when she was retarded hot, Jessica Simpson appears in the latest issue of Allure where she might as well have answered each question with "I'm completely oblivious to everything around me and sometimes a man's... ...read full story

John Mayer: The Reactions

zurza — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:10:00 +0000

Here's what people are saying about John Mayer's controversial Playboy interview that forced him "quit the media" in a fit of tears last night: Jessica Simpson: "I'm a boxer!" Richard T. Ford, author of The Race Card: "He's no... ...read full story

John Mayer discusses banging Jessica Simpson

zurza — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:50:00 +0000

Us Magazine got a hold of John Mayer's upcoming interview for Playboy where he discusses everything from sex with Jessica Simpson to how he only banged a few groupies to get over Jennifer Aniston: On Jessica Simpson: "Yeah, that... ...read full story

Jessica Simpson farted during a business meeting. Of course she did.

zurza — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:10:00 +0000

During a meeting for her denim line earlier in the month, Jessica Simpson apparently decided to show everyone how classy and business-like she can be, according to Us Weekly: "While one of the executives was speaking in a room... ...read full story

Jessica Simpson makes John Travolta look like a silly bitch

zurza — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:40:00 +0000

While John Travolta attempts to proselytize Haiti to Xenu, Jessica Simpson is actually doing something useful by sending shoes to a country that's covered in broken earthquake shit. Us Magazine reports: The singer, 29, has announced plans to team... ...read full story

Jessica Simpson’s breasts aren’t big enough

zurza — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:10:00 +0000

Because there's no way anything from Victoria's Secret will hold those things up, Wonder Woman is gonna be pissed when she sees these pics. "Borrow my clothes without asking, will ya? I want Tony Romo naked in the Invisible... ...read full story

Jessica Simpson still has awesome breasts and other news

zurza — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +0000

- Madonna and Sean Penn might really be happening again. [Lainey Gossip] - Natalie Portman is done doing nude scenes. -- Somebody ask Artie Lange what went wrong so I can do the opposite. [PopEater] - Victoria Silvstedt is... ...read full story

Jessica Simpson has curly hair. STOP EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

zurza — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:55:00 +0000

Somehow Jessica Simpson having curly hair has become the most pervasive news story of the morning, so here she is in LA last night showing off her new do. I guess I'm supposed to be titillated with excitement, but... ...read full story

Jessica Simpson sans make-up and other news

zurza — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 22:00:00 +0000

- Katy Perry did not bang Robert Pattinson the other day. You can take her off the "Kill List" now, Twi-hards. [Lainey Gossip] - Meg Ryan or Samantha Ronson? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Rachel Uchitel breaks her silence... ...read full story